Here comes the sun

Oh sweet Finn Finn,

Happy happy birthday to you! I can't believe you've already been with us an entire year. You're such a light in my often dark life.

When you were first born, it was quite an adjustment for us all. Harry was confused and jealous, and I often felt like I couldn't balance my time and affection between you both.

But as the months passed, we found our groove. Days got easier, and things became normal again.

You've been the happiest little babe I've ever known and I am SO THANKFUL for that. I love watching you master new skills, but more than anything, I love seeing your relationship with Harry blossom. I was worried that he would never truly adjust or be comfortable with having a baby brother. But you guys have recently proved me wrong. You love playing together, and hearing your laughter ring through our house makes my heart happy.

There's so much I could say, but I'll save that for another time (;
Happy birthday, Finn. I love you so so much. Thank you for being you, and I hope you never lose your enthusiasm❤

My heart never stops beating for you

Oh Abbs,

How can it be 4 years since I lost you? I think about you every day and the memories of your life -and death- are forever engrained in my mind. There are nights (like tonight) where I lie awake unable to sleep, just thinking about you.

I think about your short time on earth. About how beautiful and strong you were. About the connection we had that was so deep no words can describe it.
I think about who you would be and what our lives would look like.
I imagine you in the role as big sister and just smile from ear to ear. Harry loves looking at your pictures; he sees any baby in a picture and assumes it's you.

I like to think you're with me in spirit. When I'm having a hard time, I wonder if you're watching. All I ever wanted was to be a mom, and I'm so very thankful I was yours. You shaped my outlook on motherhood and losing you changed my perspective on life.

I hate today, 3/28. But I love that I was able to know you, if only for a short time.

I miss you every day and just pray you're watching over us.

I love you baby girl.

Love, mama